Filed under Life

Short but Sweet: Lyrical Inspiration

            Staring at the sea
                        Will she come?
Is there hope for me
                  After all is said and done
Anything at any price
          All of this for you
All the spoils of a wasted life
All of this for you
            All the world has closed her eyes
Tired faith all worn and thin
         For all we could have done
And all that could have been

                                    Ocean pulls me close
            And whispers in my ear
The destiny I’ve chose
            All becoming clear
                     The currents have their say
The time is drawing near
   Washes me away
Makes me disappear

            I descend from grace
            In arms of undertow
                       I will take my place
                                    In the great below

            I can still feel you
                        Even so far away

The Sun is Terrifying.

I was going to try a new approach to blogging that a lot of people do from time to time– I was going to go outside and post on the back patio, but as soon as I stepped out I realised one thing that would keep me from every taking that route the sun is effing terrifying.

It’s about 3 in the afternoon right now and we’re running temperatures of about 107 degrees fahrenheit right now– can you even comprehend that? Some of you can, you’ve lived in the dry, barren asscrack that is Arizona or somewhere similar, but this is the basis for all our days here– the sun is bright and high in the sky and smiling down on me like some kind of disturbed addict that wants to eat me because I look like an ice cream cone. It scares me, and I want to stay as far away from it as possible.

Everyone says dry heat is better, well, until you’ve lived in Arizona for a few years and had the sun bearing down on you nearly 24/7 because you live in the Sunniest Place on Earth1, and you never see a rain cloud, or even a moderate break in the heat, you’ll realise just how wrong you are. Dry heat is still heat, folks, it’s suffocating and stifling and I hate it here.

Does anyone live anywhere perpetually cold? If so, can I move in with you? Because screw nature– I love it and all, it’s beautiful, but I’d like to experience it from behind a nice big window with a blanket curled around me and my toes all chilled. I hate the heat, I hate the desert, and I want out.

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  1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuma,_Arizona Go ahead, check wikipedia. It’s in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the sunniest place on Earth. :| []

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Slumping Slump.

Redundancy is fun for the whole family, but to be honest I’m currently in enough of a slump that it makes sense for those things to be seriously considered– slumping slump indeed.

I can’t even think of anything in the world that I want to write about, its left a bad taste in my mouth, and left me with so very little to do and talk about that I find myself scrambling for a competent blog topic. I know I could write a post somewhat like my previous ones, about songs or otherwise, but for some reason I’m unable to muster up the desire to even write about those. I don’t feel like writing something half-assed when I know I should be passionate about the subject. I have some ideas for future posts, and for this I’m going to ask anyone who reads this to actually chime in on what they’d like to read about, and why.

Blog Topic Ideas

  • My Personal Theme songs
  • How I got nomnom.org and its origins
  • Top 10 Current Animes
  • Top 5 Movies I’ve seen Recently
  • A Couple of my Mom’s Recipes :D
  • 5 Biggest Fears
  • Some personal kind of blurb

That’s all I have right now, but I’d really love to hear if anything in general piques anyone’s interest– I do want to have this blog be more than just something monetised, so I want actual content to be flowing in and out. Please help me out. :D

Jobs are Hard.

It’s harder finding a job in this economy than you think, and beyond that, being that I live in a border-town and Arizona’s economy is shot worse than most states, I find myself with very little options.

I’ve been doing sponsored posts and the like on this blog for a while now– there are a few every now and again, and while it slowly builds up to me earning some decent bank, it’s nothing that will keep me sustained, at least not at this point right now. So while I was looking around last night for more sponsored blog posty type sites, I stumbled across the holy grail of work for me…

About.com

I know, I know– being a guide at About.com seems about as unlikely to happen for me as growing another foot, but I’m honestly holding out hope that they’ll need me enough that it’ll work out, considering the topic at hand is Anime, and I feel I know a bit about that, having grown up on it for as long as I have. The pay would be great after the initial training period, and this is somethign I can do.

I feel like I can write compelling articles on anime– or lists about suggested topics, or hell, even a list about animes I feel should be made into some kind of live action feed (not like the debacle that was the DBZ movie, mind you). I feel I have something to offer About.com if I were to be hired– I’d work hard, I’d work fast, and I’d make sure to keep my commentary fresh. I’d delve into more Animes and watch everything I could get my hands on. I’d keep my eyes and ears open and learn as much as I could, and still be able to sustain my lifestyle and then some.

I know it’s ridiculous to think they’d pick me out of all the applicants they likely had, but a girl can dream, can’t she? I mean, there’s nothing saying that I’m not capable of doing this, and that they won’t find me as useful, is there? Come on luck!

Songs: Heartbreak and Loss

Song posts are probably something I’ll do a lot of, mostly because they kind of work for me– I have this insane love for music and it tends to translate well into something I can be passionate about on a blog– especially when it comes to the type of songs you listen to when you’re feeling utterly down on yourself because of heartbreak or some other type of emotional upheaval. I find most of the songs I’m about to list apply directly to the feeling of loss that comes with getting your heartbroken, hence the title. Maybe these’ll help you get all those tears out you’ve been holding in for a while and need to let go of, or maybe you’ll just find a pretty song you dig and you can go from there. We’ll find out. I’ll keep it to 10 songs1 this time so I don’t flood people.

How by Lisa Loeb

This song was briefly featured in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, somewhat in the background when Xander and Willow were getting ready for Homecoming2, and even before I saw that episode I was crazy, head over heels in love with this song. Something about it speaks to me, especially since I found it during a time in my life where I could have been considered completely broken.

I didn’t come this far for you to make this hard for me.
And now you want to ask me “how”?

It’s like – how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?

Loss– that’s all I can garner from it. Being lost, and broken, and somehow managing to put yourself all back together and get over it, and suddenly there they are again, and it’s all breaking down again. Pure pain, and I’ve been there. How by Lisa Loeb lyrics.

Star-Stealing Girl by Yasunori Mitsuda

This one has no lyrics, but it’s kind of interesting because it doesn’t need them– it remains, to this day, one of the songs that can break me down out of nowhere just by listening to it. My friend Khy and I share a mutual love for this song and its beauty, and the fact that Yasunori Mitsuda is a brilliant composer has a lot to do with that. If you find the song and listen to it, it makes you feel that kind of dreamy fugue state that most people want to find when they’re feeling loss or heartbroken. That’s how I always end up– it’s my song for death and my song for heartache, for good reason.

Missing by Evanescence

I realise putting Evanescence on this list is pretty much an instant groan from everyone, but honestly this song is one of the best break-up songs I’ve ever heard. It makes you feel kind of regretful, and you can sit back and think about everything that’s happened– it puts me in a mood to just be sad and cry, because sometimes, they just don’t miss you.

You won’t cry for my absence I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?

I realise it may not be the intended meaning of the song, or even the meaning most people get out of it, but if you’ve ever been in love with someone and had them get over you almost instantly, you kind of feel that way… like everything you do is inconsequential. Missing by Evanescence lyrics.

Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall

It wouldn’t be a post about love, loss, and heartbreak if I didn’t include this song by Poets of the Fall– the band is one of the most amazing I’ve found in years, and they seem to lack the recognition they truly deserve, at least within the United States. This song in particular is one that’s been with me for years through a lot of situations, so I kind of relate to it in that way.

Come feed the rain
‘Cause I’m thirsty for your love
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah, feed the rain
‘Cause without your love my life
Ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust

The music itself is brilliant, and with the lyrics added in, speaking to me of a deep loss and love– it can also speak of better things if you’re in a better mood– but it’s one of my go to songs for when I’m feeling the need to feel. Carnival of Rust by Poets of the Fall lyrics.

Recessional by Vienna Teng

I don’t know that many people will really get this one, especially if you’ve never heard it, as it’s one of those songs that you have to listen to deeply really to get. I honestly feel so utterly hopeful and hopeless at the same time when I listen to this song, and it has this way of near breaking my heart just listening to the piano melody alone.

Who are you, the stranger in the shell of a lover
Dark curtains drawn by the passage of time?
Oh words like rain, how sweet the sound

It’s another one of those songs that can have a dual-meaning depending on how I’m feeling, but I’ve found myself listening to this song in some of the worst times in my life– and when she hits that climax where she’s just kind of singing with the music in the background, and it’s not even really words, I lose it. I love this song. Recessional by Vienna Teng lyrics.

A Distance There Is by Theatre of Tragedy

I have an insane love for the voice of Liv Kristine, as some of you might know3, and this song doesn’t really do much to dissuade that thought. It’s beautiful and heart-wrenching in its melody– the lyrics might not appeal to most as something they’d find in tune with love and loss, but, it’s amazing.

My heart, my heart, my heart
My heart is of frailthy, my pale skin is hued damask.
When thou thy tears hast hidden,
“Come back!”, thou sayest —
There I soon am to be —
But how am I to run when my bones, my heart
Thou hast me bereaft —

This song reminds me of some really quite effed up times in my life– I can’t really describe them in totality, but I will always, ALWAYS equate this song to my best friend, no matter what I do. We commiserate over the beauty of this song, and it’s one of the first songs he ever introduced me to. Music ties me to people more deeply than it does for most, I’m sure, but this song just draws emotion from me I can’t explain fully in words. A Distance There Is… by Theatre of Tragedy lyrics.

Damaged by Plumb

I remember I first heard this song and fell in love with it– I guess I was always kind of a romantic at heart, but I had this feeling that it would escape me for as long as I was breathing. I suppose that’s what this song does for me, it lets me give into that kind of self-deprecation that I need sometimes just so it doesn’t fester inside of me and come out as something much, much worse.

Dreaming comes so easily
‘Cause it’s all that I’ve known
True love is a fairy tale
I’m damaged, so how would I know

I’m scared and I’m alone
I’m ashamed
And I need for you to know

If it isn’t apparent, nothing about this song really screams good feelings– as far as I’m concerned, it’s meant to break you down and make you feel loss… I honestly believe sometimes we need that, we need to give into it. No one can be strong all the time, and crying is healthy. Damaged by Plumb lyrics.

Eclipsed by Evans Blue

Let me preface this by saying I just put the song on so I could write about it4, and I literally took one of those lengthy breaths, and I think my heart might have skidded a beat. It’s another song that I equate to my best friend and all that we were, and are, so it always tends to get to me. Another band that feels they don’t get near enough recognition for their musical talent, as they actually have talent– any band that evokes such emotion from me is good in my books.

I love your analogies
We’re both crazy in our own little ways
We talk about the future, and our past lives
I know I loved you then, I know I’d love you now
I know I’ll love you then, I know I love you now

It seems like I’ve known you for so long

There isn’t a lot to be said that is wrong with this song– it both breaks me down and builds me up, thoroughly, depending on my mood. Either way, it digs deep into my heart and gives me something, and that’s something needed for songs that you’re looking for to literally break you down. Eclipsed by Evans Blue lyrics.

Pieces by Red

Though the song is kind of a mix of emotional love and emotional loss, I tend to take it as more loss when I need it to be– yes, the song is originally about God as the band Red is very much Christian, but I tend to go through music as an objective observer, and therefore I take it as I want to, nor do I fault them for their views. I’m cool like that.

I’m here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I’ve lost so much along the way

It’s how it tends to happen, you’re away from someone and a part of you is missing– that being said the song does go onto talk about how coming back to that person puts you back together… but I tend to see it as you can feel that way about someone and they don’t feel the same way. They can make you whole, but they choose not to because the feelings just aren’t there… perfect for a break-up, imo. Pieces by Red lyrics.

Through Glass by Stone Sour

Again, another song that ended up being related to my best friend, but mostly because I told him it reminded me of him when he was head over heels in love with some girl who honestly wasn’t worth his time5, but that being said, it reminds me a bit of me with him in the mirrored image. Being on the outside, looking at something you can’t have and realising that everything is going to just keep going on, day by day, even though a part of you isn’t even there.

‘Cause I’m looking at you through the glass
Don’t know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that
Forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head

It’s another song that can have dual-meaning depending on how you’re feeling that day, but honestly, it tends to make me smile a little bit but feel completely torn in the chest area, because… I will always remember it from that time when I realised I would love that boy until the day I die, regardless of if feelings were ever returned, and I stand by that, and this song reminds me that he’s worth it– I just wish he knew it sometimes– and it’s good for that reason if no other. Through Glass by Stone Sour lyrics.

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I realise a lot of the songs won’t be up to most people’s tastes, and we might end up being in one of those issues where everyone looks at me like I’m crazy over all this, but I tend to look deeper through the melody and lyrics of music and let them hit me as they will. I tried not to reuse any bands or themes in this, to give us a variety, and I think it turned out relatively well– most of these bands have other songs that would fit just as well here, but I chose whichever one fit best for me at the moment.

What about you crazy kids? Like the songs, or have any you’d suggest for your own?

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  1. it’s kind of funny because a lot of the songs I’d use here were featured in an earlier post, so I’m trying to remember other ones. []
  2. or at least picking out what they’d wear []
  3. my having purchased misseri.net and having that be the name of my Rogue for forever likely illustrates that beautifully []
  4. as I have been doing for all these songs, by the way, it helps me vociferate more properly what I’m feeling about them []
  5. I say this honestly, because even though I was in love with him at the time, and still love him, that girl was destroying him and I swear I will punch some people over him some day []

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