I find it really hard to hold together lately. I have things going on and I can’t just… I can’t seem to keep my mind on the things I need to, and instead drift to the things that make my stomach twist and go out of control.
A belly full of pills and a bottle of water is not a good breeding ground for churning stress and thoughts about things you don’t want in there. The weirdest part is I know I should just remove myself from every situation in which I’m causing stress for the people I love – Yes, it sucks so very hard to think that I’ll lose that, but can you imagine how much better it’d be…?
I can’t make my mind line up with my emotions – I’m perfectly fine at dealing for a time, and then one thing shifts, like a single grain of sand, and my stomach is eating away at its own lining and I’m trying to figure out how I got here.
Eh, just needed to vent. Time to go wallow in something not related at all.