Dreams

My dreams are weird, and usually involve something completely off the wall and ridiculous, like the dozen or so times I’ve had real magic powers and still had to fake it in my dream, or when I had wings but they didn’t just allow me to fly I had to learn to work the muscles in my back and still only got a few feet before exhaustion, but sometimes they’re the most weird when they’re not weird at all.

Before I woke up this afternoon I had a dream that I… woke up this afternoon.  Almost exactly like how I actually woke up, though I’m sure there were some glaring, insane differences that I can’t recall now, but I remember sitting up, hitting my phone to see that it was 1 pm, feeling still tired and laying my head down on the opposite side of the bed as I was sleeping on and crashed out again saying I couldn’t get up just yet.

The weirder part is this dream followed another dream — prior to me waking up slightly and saying I’d roll over just one more time, as I always do — in which I was peeing and realised my period had started and was really fucking annoyed by the act of having to put on a pad and how obnoxious sleeping would be for a while because of it, especially having just gotten over that abscess.

Those two dreams in succession were easily the weirdest dreams I’ve had in ages because of how normal and uninteresting they were.  I started my period all crampy, annoyed, and then fell back asleep after checking the time.  It’s this sort of surreal, realistic dream that always leaves me feeling the most groggy all day.

Like yes, please, I need more reality in my reality and to repeat the mundane over and over again before I’m forced to do it in reality, thank you brain.

I wonder if it’s a sign of depression, but someone once told me if you’re depressed you don’t dream, or at least you don’t recall them… but I doubt there’s any real science behind that.  I’ll have to look it up at some point, but… it feels like the more normal a dream the worse it gets me.

Lately, interspersed in all the craziness and crazy-normal dreams, I have ones where my mom shows up and it’s great, but after a while I say something akin to ‘you shouldn’t be here‘ and I realise, in my dream, that’s she’s gone and it’s… emotionally draining and I sob in my dream but feel the physical effects when I wake up.

Dreams are really fucking weird…