It’s rare to see anyone actually go into depth on why a domain name came to be– I realise most sites try to explain when the domain name was purchased, and some relatively clever quip about the name and how it came to be, but has anyone ever really analysed why they chose a domain name when they did?
I honestly can’t even remember when I registered bated-breath.net, but I can remember why. I wonder if that says something about me– that maybe I value emotional ties more than dates and facts– but even then it sounds a bit pretentious. The fact of the matter is, I can’t remember when I registered it for good reason– I don’t keep track of things like that, but the fact that this domain name is what it is is very near and dear to my heart, hence my ability to remember it.
The fact that I am an emotionally tied and in-tune person has a little to do with why the name got chosen as it was, and in all reality the entire thing was some poetic exclamation of how I felt about someone at the time. Yes, everyone has their online crushes that form into something more, or sometimes just dwindled away into the shadows again, but with this one it was different.
When I met my best friend, I knew there was something about him– I just knew– he was someone I would always want in my life, and for the first few years there, I spent every waking moment just trying to be closer to him. The entire story of how we got so close was long, hard, and earned, but to be honest I doubt he’d want the nitty gritty actually tossed out there like it was some detail that had no real importance and was easy to share to complete strangers. When it comes down to it, he’s one of the people I know that I will be close to for as long as humanly possible ((We’ve had several, and I do mean several, long conversations about the definition of forever and the fact that using it in regards to anything is a bit like trying to pinpoint an exact moment in time that has refused to happen yet– if forever exists there is no way of determining it, it is not an absolute, therefore, I go with this phrasing.)).
That being said, the actual name spawned well before we had settled into the role we have now, where we’re as close as we can be as best friends, and yet still have our own kind of space. I’ll miss him like crazy when he isn’t around and vice versa, but we’re quite capable of living our lives from day to day, it’s not some kind of weird obsession– when the name was born, however, it was likely a bit more like an obsession that had been built on a real foundation ((I understand that people may be gawking at that in regards to the fact that I’m trying to bring logic out of obsession, but love can have a basis in that– you can be obsessed with someone and have an honest to Gods set of feelings for them that stem beyond just infatuation. Sometimes it’s just… bad.)), so I felt as if I were waiting patiently for him to wake up and smell the coffee, so to speak.
All this ties in about the time I was getting hardcore into doing web-design again, and my intense desire to have more than one domain name at a time ((I still have this problem, I have a bunch of domains I don’t even utilise, it’s a serious addiction. :()), and I thought of one of my favourite phrases. The original idea was for it to be onbatedbreath.net, but honestly, it felt a bit forced, like I was trying too hard– and at the time I thought hyphens were super sexy– but I wanted the thought of ‘bated breath’ thrown in there somewhere. I felt like I was spending my entire life living on bated breath, like somehow everything was just transitive, like… I hadn’t fully found where I was supposed to be, or that if I had, it hadn’t found me yet.
The sad part was, I had no plan for the domain, and its gone through a few institutions of being an updates site for my fanlistings, another blog that I barely wrote in and when I did it was absolutely emotional horse-piss ((Funny how I say this as I rant about how my domain name came to be, and in that, about my past life that I used to rant about– but I do find that most personal blogs are only frequented by people that you don’t talk to everyday, or those who want to see their names in your posts– it’s weird. Also, just an opinion.)) that no one wanted to read about anyway– mostly lamenting over the boy in question or writing about what I was doing on games– the kind of stuff that doesn’t really get read these days. But now its come full circle around to be my actual blog, one where I talk about more than just my feelings and things that not even my mother would want to read, instead it feels like it might actually become something, and I couldn’t be prouder of my baby.
That being said, it kind of explains the origins of the name for bated-breath.net and brings us around to the end of this rant, in which I ask all of you to explain to me how your blogging domain name came to be, what it means to you, and if you ever think you might have chosen the wrong one? I’m curious.